Imagination and Fear

I was talking to a friend the other day about some feelings I have had since the accident.  As most of you know I have had a long run of some pretty hard stuff in my life.  Some of it consequences from my own poor choices and some from other's poor choices or just hard life problems like my accident and injury.

Each time something bad happens I have been able to say "God is Good".  No matter what my circumstances God is Good.  I believe that with my whole heart.  Yet I have this feeling of dread or doom.  That every time things start to look good something bad happens.  It is like living my life always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

My friend suggested that that is fear and that fear is not from God.  We both had just read "The Shack" by William P. Young and she had me read with her a page from the book.  I would like to put that quote here because I think a lot of us experience the same thing that this part of the book is talking about.  I am afraid of breaking some kind of copy right laws or something.  I think if I cite it correctly I will be ok.....I hope this ok, but it is such a great thought on fear and imagination and trust.  So here goes....The following is taken from page 141 and 142 of the book "The Shack" written by William P. Young, Published by Windblown Media.

Mack is the main character and he is having a conversation with Jesus.  Jesus has invited him to the other side of the lake and wanted Mack to walk on water to get to the other side of the lake, but Mack is afraid....

"Tell me what you are afraid of Mack."

"Well, let me see.  What am I afraid of?" began Mack.  "Well, I am afraid of looking like an idiot, I am afraid that you are making fun of me and that I will sink like a rock.  I imagine that...."

"Exactly," Jesus interrupted.  "You imagine.  Such a powerful ability, the imagination!  That power alone makes you so like us. But without wisdom, imagination is a cruel taskmaster....."

Mack and Jesus go on to discuss whether Mack and humans in general live more in the past, present or future.  Mack admits that he spends more time in the past and future than in the present.  Jesus goes on to say.....

"....When I dwell with you, I do so in the present-I live in the present.  Not the past, although much can be remembered and learned by looking back, but only for a visit, not an extended stay.  And for sure, I do not dwell in the future you visualize or imagine.  Mack, do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely, if ever, pictures me there with you?"

Mack realizes what Jesus is saying is true and that God was absent from his imaginations of the future.  He asks Jesus why he does that.  Jesus replies.....

"It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can't.  It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn't even real, nor will it ever be real.  You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear."

Mack asks Jesus why he has so much fear in his life and Jesus answers....

"Because you don't believe.  You don't know that we love you.  The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love.  I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future.  To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. ...."

I realize after pondering this for quite sometime, that I was walking in fear of what was around the next corner for me.  This book has been such a wonder to me.  So much of it has spoken directly to my need right in the moment.  I do believe God loves me and I do believe that not just what my circumstance are today, but whatever my future circumstance that God is good and that He is especially fond of me!  There is freedom in knowing that and believing it.

I am sure I will have to continue to remind myself of these things....it so easy to slip into fear.  But for this moment, for right now I trust God with not just with my present but with my future as well.

Hope this made sense and touches you like it did me.